you read that correctly.

i was in a pageant in college.

a good friend of my farmer's stopped by the farm today. well…in a weird twist of fate, that good friend of my farmer is dating my old boyfriend's littler sister.

that got me thinking about that period of time in my life. the period of time when i was in a pageant the spring before i graduated from college.
i competed for the title of miss tri-counties which was a local competition to qualify for miss idaho. you would not believe how hard it is for me to type that out. it's my shame.

my. shame.

long long ago (2005) i was somehow convinced by a gal i went to college with that i could totally have a chance at winning some cold, hard cash in a pageant.

i like cash. i'll do a pageant. that was basically all i thought about before i submitted my paperwork.

it would be super easy. slap on some makeup. prance around in a bathing suit. do a talent. yeah…i got this.
you guys…i literally thought i had a shot. come to find out…i had a shot in hell.

because i thought i had a shot i invited everyone. i wanted these people to see my crowning moment, literally.

i had the following in attendance: college friends, high school friends, friends from san francisco, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mom and sister, and my parents. i even won an award for having the most people there. i was nearly positive i was going to win that sparkly crown.

if i didn't win a title i would surely win miss congeniality, right? wrong.
allow me to list for you…

sure signs i wasn't going to win this pageant

#1 | i was 20 pounds overweight. could someone have told me to hit a treadmill? sure. did they? no. should i have looked in a mirror? yes. did i? yes. was i delusional? yes. hey…when you have self-esteem you have self-esteem.

#2 | i had absolutely no talent. so what did i do? i sang a song. the musical stylings of karli belting out boogie woogie bugle boy by the andrew sisters. did i mention i can't carry a tune? scratch that. i'm not terrible terrible, but i'm certainly not good enough to be singing anything in front of an audience unless i'm drunk and there's a karaoke duet happening to don't go breakin' my heart by elton john.

#3 | i made some questionable choices the night before the pageant. let's just say there was some giggling and some eating. my friends are terrible influences.

i remember the girl who talked me into the pageant stopped by that evening to give me some of her pageant tools and was shocked and appalled at my actions. "karli!" i think is all she could say.

#4 | what did i eat? chinese food. what is the one type of food you should probably stay away from the night before a pageant? chinese food. how about a plate of sodium before you hop into a bikini? perfect.

well…i think it goes with out saying (but i'll say it), i certainly didn't win. not first, second, or third. i didn't win best personality. i didn't win swimsuit or interview.

i won most ticket sales. see? here i am with my "most ticket sales" medal on.
at least i won something.
the night wasn't a total bust. i left with great friends, a bunch of flowers, too much makeup, and a stiff drink. 

and if i get a wild hair…i really think i could win the mrs. pageant in my farm town's population of 100. 

in. the. bag.