here's what's happening to me today.
imagine drinking a warm, melted otter pop on an empty stomach. like...10 of them all melted into a miniature gatorade bottle. add in about 10 tablespoons of granulated sugar. now chug chug chug! (because that's the only thing you'll be chugging while you're pregnant.) next you'll be coached and encouraged by a scruffy technician to "keep it down or you'll have to come back." and "here, sip this water," for the next hour until said technician can stab you with a needle to draw some blood on sugar-crack.
not to mention you'll also be asked to pee in a cup for the 800th time. and if by the 800th time you have finally figured out how to not pee a little on your own hand...well, you're a better woman than me. every. single. time. in addition, there is the pressure involved hoping to god that your pee isn't the color of a highlighter marker. you better believe i chugged 64 ounces of water before my 10 am appointment, directly related to me having to pull into a rest stop on my hour drive to the big city. i can't bear to see the nurse give me that "tsk tsk" look if my sample is too bright.
"yes nurse-lady. i swear today isn't the only day i hydrated this week." (cough *lie* cough)
and PLEASE god please let my bladder be completely empty by the time i have to step on the scale. i can't handle the nurse rounding up because of the extra ounces of water i drank.
"yes nurse-lady, i will be taking off my scarf, shoes, watch, belt, etc. etc. here, hold my purse."
this is my reality today. however...it doesn't have to be yours. you, my dears, get to enjoy sarah of sarahphrasing life.
girlfriend is a peach...or a cherry. or...wait, she just popped her cherry. her geocaching cherry. (i know...when i read the title to her post i was like, "hold up. whaaa?!"
so i mean...if our gal sarah has the guts to title a post about popping her cherry...who knows what else she could have in store for us.
doesn't it at least make you want to get to know her? but there are lots of ways to get to know her.
like, after i read her hump day confessions i realized we have lots in common:
imagine drinking a warm, melted otter pop on an empty stomach. like...10 of them all melted into a miniature gatorade bottle. add in about 10 tablespoons of granulated sugar. now chug chug chug! (because that's the only thing you'll be chugging while you're pregnant.) next you'll be coached and encouraged by a scruffy technician to "keep it down or you'll have to come back." and "here, sip this water," for the next hour until said technician can stab you with a needle to draw some blood on sugar-crack.
not to mention you'll also be asked to pee in a cup for the 800th time. and if by the 800th time you have finally figured out how to not pee a little on your own hand...well, you're a better woman than me. every. single. time. in addition, there is the pressure involved hoping to god that your pee isn't the color of a highlighter marker. you better believe i chugged 64 ounces of water before my 10 am appointment, directly related to me having to pull into a rest stop on my hour drive to the big city. i can't bear to see the nurse give me that "tsk tsk" look if my sample is too bright.
"yes nurse-lady. i swear today isn't the only day i hydrated this week." (cough *lie* cough)
and PLEASE god please let my bladder be completely empty by the time i have to step on the scale. i can't handle the nurse rounding up because of the extra ounces of water i drank.
"yes nurse-lady, i will be taking off my scarf, shoes, watch, belt, etc. etc. here, hold my purse."
this is my reality today. however...it doesn't have to be yours. you, my dears, get to enjoy sarah of sarahphrasing life.
so i mean...if our gal sarah has the guts to title a post about popping her cherry...who knows what else she could have in store for us.
doesn't it at least make you want to get to know her? but there are lots of ways to get to know her.
like, after i read her hump day confessions i realized we have lots in common:
- we adore ryan gosling (her, me, and every other woman with a pulse)
- 16 and pregnant is our guilty pleasure. (actually, i like to watch it because it gives me more confidence in how i'm raising my own child. if those chicks can do it...i can too.)
- and...i should probably NOT give away any more of her confessions. go check them out yourself.
but if this isn't all enough...we can just love to hate her. she is basically living my dream life.
married to a handsome fella. (check)
surrounds herself with a great group of gals for awesome weekend getaways. (check)
and CLEARLY realizes the importance of celebrating birthdays for everyone.
but the very best part? girlfriend isn't afraid to go deep, unlike some people i know (eh-hum...me). she's a beautiful writer and leaves it all on the page. she writes with confidence and clarity, and knows how to set a scene.
basically, i'm going to try and copy her format in my next post. we'll see how that turns out.
basically, i'm going to try and copy her format in my next post. we'll see how that turns out.
this is all exactly why you should not be afraid to check her out. she's a cherry peach, remember?
Ooh, I hate that when you have to drink water or anything else it becomes hard to take it down. It happens to me a lot. i was dehydrated a couple days ago and the water didn't want to go beyond my mouth into my belly. Sarah sounds interesting, checking out her blog.
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